


The Outsiders Imagines

by IfItsWorthSavingMe



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Imagines, Reader/Character - Freeform, The outsiders imagines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfItsWorthSavingMe/pseuds/IfItsWorthSavingMe
Summary: "They grew up on the outside of society. They weren't looking for a fight. They were looking to belong."





	1. Dallas: Mistake

Crossing your arms you come face to face with the one person you were least happy to see.

"Is that all I am to you? A checkbook and a piece of ass?" The questions probably came out angrier than you had meant them to, but he deserved it.

He laughed, "Not all the time."

"Damn it Dallas! It ain't funny."

Dal quit laughing real quick, he knew you were more than pissed when you called him Dallas. Now, Dallas Winston was afraid of nobody. There wasn't a man, woman, or child alive that could instill fear into him, maybe except Johnny,  when he was going to do something stupid. Until he met you, there was something about you that could strike a bit of fear throughout his being, but he'd never tell.

You continued on your rant, "This is the third time this month you've gotten locked up. What was it this time? I can't keep paying your bail. I'm pretty much working for free this month." You sighed, "I hope I'll be able to make rent," you mumbled to yourself.

"I knocked off a convenience store," he answered nonchalantly. "Jesus Christ, Your making it out like it's some sorta big deal or somethin' and just an FYI, I never asked you for nothin'. You paid my bail on your own accord, I never asked you too," now he was angry too, but you weren't about to back down that easily. You were just about ready to say something when he walked away.

"Where the hell do you think you're going," you shout.

"Wherever you're not," he spat. 

You sighed and headed home. You hated that Dallas Winston, he was so selfish and bullheaded. He never seemed to think of anyone but himself. 

Doesn't he understand how that'd make me feel if something worse happened. 

Maybe he wasn't all to blame, it's not like you actually explained to him why, you just sort of yelled. That was your guy's dynamic - you two were dysfunctional. Bad for each other, but you both knew you weren't good for anyone else. 

It didn't take long to find him, he was at Bucks like usual. You sat down at the bar next to him, surprised he wasn't hitting on any of the other broads that were there. 

"What do you want? Come to bitch some more?"

You turned your chair to the side to face him, "Look Dal, I just worry. I mean next time you pull something like this you ain't gonna be lucky enough to just get jail time. You could get shot."

He just laughed while fiddling with his ring he had on his finger; it was the same one he let Sylvia wear when they were together. For some reason it bothered you that he hadn't let you. 

You turned back to the bar, defeated when he didn't say anything, reconsidering your answer when you told the bartender you didn't want anything; cause right about now you could go for something strong. 

"Here," he stated, placing something cold inside your hand. 

You opened your hand to find the ring he was playing with. "What are you giving this to me for? So I can throw it at you when you piss me off?" 

He chuckled, "That to I suppose." Then he became serious, "I've made the mistake of letting the wrong person have that once before," he said, pointing to his ring, "don't be another mistake." 

It wasn't a demand or a warning, it was a plead. Even Dallas Winston, somewhere deep in there, still had part of his heart left. This time, he hoped it wouldn't get broken even more than what it already had been in the past.


	2. Johnny: Listen

Now, how in the hell you managed to wind up at Bucks, you'll never know. You just wanted to take some time and forget, and if that meant getting drunk, you were all for it. You had just decided to end things with Johnny, you just wanted to clear your head to figure out what you wanted. To hell if you even knew, you wanted freedom, but you wanted him.

You spin yourself around from the bar to face the door, noticing the whole gang coming in.

How is Pony even allowed in here, more importantly how did he convince Darry to let him come here.

You kept your eyes on them as you laughed to yourself, when you noticed some redheaded broad walk up to Johnny. You could tell she was trying to flirt and that he was uncomfortable. He looked towards Dal for help, he just slapped a hand on his back as if to say go for it, then he turned his gaze to the ground. She was trying to get him to dance and he wasn't having it. Johnny just kept shaking his head, telling her no.

The grip on your beer bottled tightened until your knuckles were turning white. When she kissed his cheek, you lost your restrain. The bottle shattered in your hand, making beer and glass go everywhere, including in your hand.

"Son of a bitch," you yelled while shaking you hand, trying to get the glass out. Your yelling caused a few to look over at you, including Johnny and Ponyboy. You walk back over to the counter to find Buck.

"Buck, I need a towel," you say pointing to the mess on the floor.

"Looks like you need more than that," he laughed pointing to your hand. "I'll worry about the floor, you worry about your hand. There's some bandages in back over there.

When you got done wrapping your hand, you walk back out wanting to find the bartender for another drink. He gave you one, telling you that it was on the house from Buck. 

"Thanks, man," you tell him, as you walk up, slightly raising your beer bottle. 

"You know he still loves you right? And seeing as how you broke that bottle, I'd say you feel the same. Just go on and tell him." 

"Eh, you know I ain't one for talking, but you may end up cleaning up more beer if she don't leave him alone."

"You ain't gonna pour it on her are you."

"Hell no! But I might end up busting the bottle across her head," you looked at Buck and smiled. 

You and Buck looked back over towards the gang, the redhead still not giving up on Johnny, you could see she was pleading. All Johnny did was shake his head and try and shove his hands deeper in his pockets. All the anger built in you, beer in hand, you walked over to the girl. 

"Look! He said he's not interested, so unless you want a beer bottle busted across your face I suggest you leave my man alone and go find your own!" You were livid and made sure to put extra emphasis on the word my. 

The guys all turned to you, wide eyed and shocked. Especially Johnny, he had never seen that side of you, but it still didn't surprise him enough to lose his train of thought. 

"Y-your man huh? You broke up with me, remember? So how-how am I still your man? And I ain't property either, I'm not anybodys unless I want to be." 

You looked down, trying to concentrate on some speck of dirt on the floor. "I know I messed up by leaving, I should have listened to my heart more. Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to come to my senses. I..I still love you...I want you to know that." You didn't look him in the eyes, you couldn't, you knew you'd cry if you did. 

"I still love you too... but now where does that leave us now," Johnny question. 

You just shrugged. You knew what you wanted now, but feared it was too late. 

"Well, then, what do ya say, be my girl again?" His question was timid, fearing you'd say no. 

You smiled so big and ran up to hug him, tight, almost taking the breath out of him. You leaned up to give him a soft kiss, and even though that was a good enough answer for Johnny, you wanted to make it even more clear. 

"I was always yours," you smiled.


	3. Dallas: Like Daddy

_"Dal, I gotta tell you something here. And it ain't easy so I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm pregnant, with your child."_

_He remained silent, no yelling no cursing. He just poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "You know I don't like little kids. I don't - I just don't like them you know."_

_"I know."_

_"So don't expect me to be helpful."_

_"I won't. Trust me."_

That was the best case scenario you  could play in your head of telling Dallas Winston you were pregnant.

**

"Hey, Dal," you whisper, taking a seat on the grass. "I gotta tell ya somethin', it may comes as a shock, but you outta know." You wiped the tears from you eyes.

"You're gonna be a daddy. I wish I coulda told you sooner but I didn't know. Maybe if I had, you'd still be here." You voice was shaky and distant. You feared looking at the ground, knowing more tears would come.

"Hell, I know you Dal, it wouldn't have made a difference, but I can pretend, right?"

You braved it and looked down at the grave stone in front of you.

**Dallas "Dally" Winston**   
**1948-1965**   
**Died the way he lived: Young, violent, and reckless.**

"Goodbye, Dally."

***Ten Years Later***

"Momma! Momma!"

"What is it DJ?" you turned to face him, noticing he had something in his hands.

"What's my name again, momma?"

"You're ten, you know what your name is."

"Momma..," he pleaded sadly.

"Dallas Jonathan Winston, why?"

He pulls out from behind his back the thing he had been hiding. It was a picture you had someone take of the gang one day. You had written down their names on the back just not in order.

"One of these guys has the same name as me," he had a confused smile on his face. "It's gotta be one of these three", he says pointing out the three men he was talking about. "Cause I know the rest."

You patted you lap, silently instructing him to sit down. You looked over the picture, pointing out Sodapop first.

"That one there is Sodapop Curtis. He's Darry and Ponyboy brother. You've met him before. Although I reckon you wouldn't remember," you sighed, suddenly becoming sad. "He died in Vietnam when you were only about two."

"Oh," was all he said.

You smiled and point to the next one. "This one here, that's my best buddy Johnny Cade," the sadness returned quickly. "You never got to meet him. You'd love him if you had. He died one night when we had a rumble, before I even knew about you."

"How?"

"He saved some kids from a burning church. A beam fell on him and busted his back and had third degree burns," you paused, looking down at DJ, who looked like he could cry. "I tell ya what honey, sixteen years ain't long enough."

DJ squirmed uncomfortably, he wanted to change the subject, so he pointed to the last man.

"So then, that's gotta be Dallas Winston."

You giggled. "Right you are."

"He looks just like me. Why's that?"

You looked down at the boy who shared Dally's snow blond hair and ice blue eyes, except DJs were warmer. "Cause he's your dad."

"Did he not want me or something," he asked saddened at the idea of being unwanted.

"He died the same night Johnny did."

"How.."

"Same way he lived: young and violent, but gallant. All three did, cause only the good die young," you tried blinking away tears.

"You think daddy would be proud of me?"

"Well let's see, you've been arrest already and your only ten - same age as your dad when he first was, and you have a record a mile long already. Plus you have a vocabulary that would make even him blush. Safe to say he'd be proud," you laugh.

"So, then, I s'pose this is the best time to say, me and James got busted by the fuzz again. Court date's next week."

You closed your eyes and rubbed your fingers on your temples. "I swear, your becoming more and more like your daddy everyday and I don't know whether to be proud or scared."

DJ just laughed before getting off you lap and running outside.


	4. Gang: Family

C'mon, pick up," you mumbled to yourself.

_"Curtis residence, Sodapop speaking."_

"Hey, Soda. Uh, Darry wouldn't happen to be home would he?"

_"Yeah, he's right here. Hold on."_

_"Hello?"_

"Hey, Darry, listen I was hopin' you could do me a favour. I'm in jail right now. You think you could call my ma and see if she'd bail me out? I know if I call she'll hang up right away, but she's always had a soft spot for you, maybe she'd hear ya out."

_"Alright, I'll give it a try, see you down there in a little bit."_

He hung up and now all you could do is wait.

Staring at the ceiling was the only thing passing time by, it hadn't been that long, only 'bout a half hour, but it had felt like hours. You could hear keys rattling down the hall, but you didn't pay any mind to it.

"Good news, (y/l/n), your bail's been paid. Follow me to collect your things and go, cause they're waitin' outside for you."

After collecting your things, you see the boys waiting by Darry's truck.

"You ready," Darry asked.

"Man, I told you, if she didn't say yes, just let me sit."

Soda butted in, "That ain't how we do things."

You could feel your eyes beginning to water. Nobody ever saw you cry, and you didn't want them to start now.

"I'll pay you guys back somehow, I swear."

"You ain't gotta worry about it, Kid," Dallas reassured.

The tears were building up even more. Ponyboy put his hand on your shoulder, "You don't need to get upset about your mom, she ain't worth it." The boys all nodded in agreement.

You chuckled, "Guys, I take two-by-fours and plenty of beatin's from my old man. My mom chases me with knives, trying to kill me, and constantly tells me how much of a burden and how worthless I am. I never cry about it, so I certainly ain't gonna cry over the fact she won't help me the only time I've asked."

Two-Bit came up and gave you a hug, "Then what's upsetting you, kid?"

You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks. "I shouldn't have to depend on you guys to help me out, I should be depending on my parents, but they don't care."

"Hey now," Soda tries to soothe you by being the one to hug you, "We may not be biological, but we're all family and that's what families do. They take care of one another. When it comes down to it, for the most part we're all we've got left. We ought to be able to stick together against anything. If we don't have each other, we don't have anything."

You wiped the tears from your eyes and smiled. Hopping in the back, you couldn't help but think to yourself about how right Soda was. Family was where you felt safe and were wanted, a place you could come to and not feel scared, a place you felt loved, and you had all that with them.


	5. Soda: Don't Love You

You played with the blades of grass trying anything to avoid looking at Soda.

 _Evie and Steve saw you with Tim_ , he said.

"Why couldn't you just tell me," he pleaded. You didn't need to look at his eyes to know he was crying. You heard it in the break of his voice.

"Tell you what?" You were trying to play dumb, but you knew  that he knew, that they all did.

"Don't play dumb. Why couldn't you just tell me that you don't love me anymore," his voice was somber, cracking and barely above a whisper.

You looked up, capturing his eyes and seeing the tears, making new ones form in yours. You avoided the question all together. Keeping your gaze in the grass in between your fingers.

He sighed, defeated, "I still love you, I hope you know that and I wish you nothing but happiness. I just wish it could have been with me, but things don't always work out how they should I s'pose."

You watched him as he lifted himself up and walked away, taking your heart with him. How you could have been so blind, you would never understand. The one person that truly cared and loved you through thick and thin, you threw away for a fun fling with someone who was even more cold, heartless and rough than Dally.

You hated yourself, you always assured him that you'd never be like Sandy, yet there you were, breaking his heart just like she had done long ago.

You stay there and wondered just if there would ever be a way to make this up and maybe try again. You wouldn't blame him if he shut you out, you deserved it.

You know what they say: when it rains, it pours.

And this storm was all your own doing.


	6. Johnny: A Chance

Walking down the street, you noticed a group of about five Socs ganging up around someone. He looked small in built with black greasy hair and he was dressed in all denim, a black shirt and converse.

You knew him, you remembered seeing him around school a couple times. Now if only you could remember his name. One finally popped into your head.

_Johnny! At least I hope I'm right. Oh well, even if I'm not, it's better than nothing._

You knew the were planning to jump him, seems he wondered a little off his side of town. You knew you had to do something. It's five against one, not exactly a fair fight; not that you liked fights to start with, so it gave you an even bigger reason to intervene.

You weren't a Soc, but you weren't a Greasers either. You were something inbetween - middle class if you will. Not poor enough for the east side, yet not rich enough for the west side, but you got along with most from both sides of town. That was one benefit of being middle class.

"Hey Johnny, there you are," you shout, running up to him before the Socs got too close. "I've been looking all over for you." You were panting by the time you got up to them, you were not a runner.

The Socs turned towards you, "You know this little grease-ball?" The all laughed at the insult.

"Uh, yea. That's Johnny, I've been looking around for him, we're partners on an English project."

"Yeah, well he's on our side of town," another said.

"I told him to meet me around here, it's a middle territory between our houses. I would have walked to his house, but I don't know the east side too well."

"Keep it that way," another advised. "Greasers are nothing but trouble."

After a couple more exchanges the Socs finally left, you offered to walk back to his house with him to make sure the boys didn't follow.

Along the way, you found out you were right, his name was Johnny. You guys talked a little and found you had a lot more than you thought in common with each other. He also let you know he wasn't going home, but of to his friend Ponyboy's house. You knew him too, hung around Johnny and that guy that always wears Mickey Mouse.

When you arrived at Ponyboy's house, there was a lot of company, a group of six boys watching the two of you walk up. Johnny walked through the gate and you turned around, but something made you stop and turn back, facing the gate.

"Hey, Johnny?"

"Y-yea?"

"What would ya say to uh," you're confidence was wavering. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but what do ya say to maybe seeing a movie this Friday night?" You looked down at your feet blushing. You took a quick glimpse up at the boys, noticing Johnny looking at his feet too. You see his face is a slight tinge of pink.

You end up getting to watch Ponyboy nudging Johnny in his side and cocking his head towards you. "Go on, man. She's mighty pretty and seems nice too. May as well go for it."

Johnny blushed an even deeper red, it was a whisper but you could hear him, "Man, you know I ain't got any money." Johnny had a disappointed and defeated look on his face. He had hoped you hadnt heard him.

"I ain't got none either. I have a buddy down there that works consessions, was gonna see if I could sweet talk him into borrowing me a couple bucks until my paycheck rolls around," you giggle slightly. "If not, just figured we could sneak in. I know a spot."

Johnny shoved his hands deeper in his pockets, cheeks turning even more red.

"Ah, shucks, he's turning red as a steamed lobster," Two-bit jokes, messing up his hair. "This greasy little hobo will see ya Friday at 7," Two confirms.

You look at Johnny and smile, he quickly looks at you, giving a shy smile back.

"Cool, see ya at 7," you say as you turn to start your walk home, thinking of nothing but Johnny and your upcoming date.


	7. Soda: Better

"C'mon Pepsi-Cola, smile for me," you plead. You and Soda both were on the verge of tears. "I want it to be the last thing I see before jumping in that cab."

 

***Flashback***

"I GOT IN!"

"Really! That's great. Where at," Soda was just as excited as you were.

It all turned somber so fast. "New York... They want me there next week for orientation and to help get me my supplies."

"Oh..Are you going..?" You could tell he didn't want you to leave, he liked having you around, the whole gang did.

"Soda! I'd be crazy not to. This is a great opportunity for me, stuff like this just don't happen for greasers like us." You looked back down at the letter, then looked back up at Soda, you could see he was trying hard not to cry. He was losing you, to him, aside from Steve, you were his best friend and better half. "But I don't wanna go if you ain't coming," you whimpered.

Soda took your hands in his, pressing his forehead to yours, "like you said, Princess, you'd be crazy not to go, go follow your dreams. I'll be right here waitin' for you when you come back," he leaned down, giving you a soft kiss.

***End Flashback***

 

Now here you were surrounded by these seven people that slowly grew to become your family.

One by one, they all gave you a hug, telling you to make sure you come back to Tulsa and see them. Soda was last, trying to hold onto you for as long as possible. It took all six of the guys to pry him off so you could finally leave.

Looking at the cab and the little luggage on the ground, you could feel your heart tearing, longing to go, yet crying to stay. You had made a life here, a family, and leaving to New York meant leaving it all behind.

"Ah, hell," you say turning back around. "I can get into any college, one closer, if I try hard enough, but I ain't ever gonna get another family like this."

"So-so what are you saying?" Soda was tentative in his question.

"I'm staying!" you grinned from ear to ear.

There was a chorus of whoops and hollers coming from the boys as you paid the cabbie for his troubles.

You knew New York would have been good, but to you, this was so much better.


	8. Gang: Little Goodbyes

**A/N:** _(Y/M/F/N) = Your mom's first name. (Y/M/L/N) = Your mom's last name. (Y/N) = Your name. (Y/L/N) = Your last name._  
____________________________________________

"Curtis resident, Darrel speaking."

_"Yes, this is (Y/M/F/N) (Y/M/L/N), (Y/N)'s mother. I'm calling to inform you and your friends that I'm down at the hospital with her and well, there's something you guys outta see. Bring youself and the rest of your gang down in about twenty minutes. We don't know how much times she's got left."_

With a light click your mom had hung up. The whole phone call in itself replayed to him. He sank down on his chair, eyes glued to the floor. Even the banging of the door and yelling from the group didn't make him look up.

"What's wrong Darry? You look like you've seen a ghost," Soda was the first to speak

"It's (y/n). Hop in the truck, we gotta get to the hospital."

No one questioned him, they all hopped in, some inside, the others all fit where the could back in the bed.

***The Hospital***

"Mrs (Y/M/L/N), there's a group of seven here to see Miss (Y/L/N)," the nurse said.

"Yes, I know. I called them down," she said, then turned to the boys. "She's in here, fair warning, it may make you sick. Her dad left, he couldnt stand seeing her like this." Your mom was in tears again.

The sight they came into seemed something out of a movie. There you were, lying on your back, IVs seeming to come from and going into everywhere. The blankets covered the damaged below your chest, but they didn't need to see that to know it was bad.

Your mom had been right, it was enough to make them sick. Dallas had instructed Pony to sit down cause he looked so pale.

Your eyes were closed, but they were bruised, fresh and angry shades of black and purple painted over them. Your cheeks - swollen and discolored. They could tell, just from standing there, your nose was broke.

You could hear everything.

 _"This ain't her,"_ Two-bit choked out.

 _"What happen?"_ Steve sobbed.

Your mom tried her best to steady her cracking voice, _"She was Coming home from work, some guy in a pickup wasn't watching where he was going - digging for God only knows in the back seat. He swerved over the line," you could hear the tears in her voice. "She tried to avoid him - but he hit her head on."_

The air was silent, you could only imagine their eyes boring into the ground.

 _"What's gonna happen to her?"_ It was Soda speaking this time.

 _"We don't quite know. It ain't as bad as it looks though. Her face is mostly bruises and bumps. Her legs are broken, but the doctors doubt she even feels it. They say when she went through the back window, she busted her back when she hit."_ The pause would have caused chills to run down anyone's spine; the atmosphere was tense and bittersweet. _"She ain't gonna walk again they figure, but that's the least of their worries. It's more of her insides they're scared about. Lots of internal lacerations and head trauma. Can't live with damaged organs."_

The seconds felt like hours. You didn't want them to pity you though, you didn't want or need them to cry for you. Sure sixteen isn't a lot - it ain't long enough to really be alive, you see a lot of things, all the things you never wanted to, but for you it was enough.

In your way of thinking, it was better you being the one in the crash then some married couple with little kids - you had more time than some here on this Earth. Sometimes it's just your time for goodbye.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by a soft, yet firm voice - one of the nurses. _"I hate to break this up, but she needs all the rest she can get. You have five minutes."_

You could feel everyone surrounding you, whispering their favorite memories with you. Their tears dripping onto the backs of your hands and on your cheeks; each one placing a soft kiss on your head. Signifying their goodbye, not knowing if you'd make it through to tomorrow.


	9. Two-Bit: No Joke

**⚠️Content Warning: Self Harm⚠**

* * *

 

Leaning against the bathroom door, you slowly slide down. Taking the blade in your dominant hand, you drug it across the weaker arm. You took it at a leasurly pace, wanting to see the cut being made, wanting to watch the blood as it came out after ever millimeter you drug it. After that one, you made more, but more shallow; with more quickness and speed.

The stinging made you grit your teeth. The one weird thing about this stuff is that it does hurt - but it's a good kind. Your twisted tranquility interupted by a sudden knock.

"Hey, baby girl, you almost ready?"

_Shit! He's early today!_

"Uh, yea, just give me like five minutes. Okay, Two?"

"Alright."

Your thoughts raced as you tried to find some way to cover them so he wouldn't see. You quickly washed the blood from your arms and settled on a plain black long sleeve shirt. Then you took to cleaning up the sink and part of the floor - bloods a messy thing.

_Maybe he won't notice._

When you stepped from the bathroom, he chuckled. "Okay, baby, I give. Why the shirt? It's ninety-eight degrees out, you'll die of heat stroke before you even hit the first step. Go on and change."

_Dammit._

Two-bit's sweet, but he's persistent in what he wants. You squirmed and tried to wait him out, trying to convince him you'd be fine.

He took it on himself to raid your closet to find you a shirt, " _I'll be fine_ ," he mockingly repeated what you said. "That's a load of bull if I've ever heard. I know you. Put this on," he tossed a dark blue tank top over your way. Your mind was racing, in a war over what you should do; whether or not to show him. 

_You may as well he's gonna find out one way or another. Better this way then by someone else later._

_Yeah, but what will he say?_

_Show him and find out. We all know it'd be better, you could get better._

You exhaled a large sigh, feeling defeated, you head back to the bathroom to put the shirt on anyway. Scared, you stepped back out, only keeping your eyes on the ground.

Two's eyes grew big when they landed on your arms.

"What are those?"

You looked at him, trying to be quick, "I told you, that damn cat of mine don't like me," you giggled.

For once, you could tell, that he was serious. The somber look never changed, he came closer, but he was timid. Almost like he thought he would break you if he moved too fast, but he got there and took your hands.

"This ain't a joke. I know I ain't the smartest man around but I sure ain't dumb neither. I know what those are. Why."

Your voice felt lost, it almost seemed to burn, you tried and tried but nothing would come out. All you could do was pull your hands away, wrapping them around you tightly as you tried to find your voice, any voice really, and when you did you didn't mean to get snippy, it just came out.

"Why do you drink? Huh? Why? To get rid of whatever's on your mind. To numb the pain for a little while. To escape. What this is," you hold out your arms to show him, "and your drinking ain't much different. They're both destructive as hell."

Two-Bit ran a hand through his hair, then looked back at you, his face more sad than before.

"I didn't realize my drinking bothered you that much."

You didn't answer, you only tried wrapping yourself tighter.

"Listen, doll," he began, "you get help for that, and I'll get help for my drinking, deal?"

You looked up at him with a sad smile, "Promise?"

"On my life," he smiled.

 


	10. Dallas: Too Late

_You need to learn how to love before it's too late._

_It ain't a bad thing to fall in love._

_The worse thing to take with you when ya die is the words you wish you had said to someone._

Dallas played those words in his head constantly while he watched over you. He never told anyone that he loved anyone, nobody would have believed him, but he did. He loved Mrs. Curtis, he loved Johnny, and he loved you; all of it being in vain.

When Mrs Curtis died, it broke his heart, though he never told anyone, she was the first one to treat him like a human instead of just another delinquent.

Johnny gave him purpose; a reason to keep himself in the straight and narrow. Keeping Johnny safe, outta trouble, stopping him from being like himself was his mission in life, but the night he died, what pieces of his heart he had been able to put back together had broken all over again.

He held on though.

That night, when he wanted to stand off with the cops, you came along, even though you had been friends with the gang for what seemed like forever, to Dal it felt like you came from out of the blue. You slowly mended the broken parts and he couldn't help but fall for your smile.

He'd never say. He never was good with words or feelings, only actions.  He tried his best to keep men you weren't interested in from hitting on you, he'd ask you to sit by him no matter where you were, and if he was going to the movies, you were the first he'd ask to go.

In his little things, he tried to tell you, but you never picked up on it. Always laughing, you'd crack a joke about it. _Now, if I didn't know any better, I'd say your falling in love with me_ , and you'd giggle, not knowing how true that was.

He listened to your words, he tried to learn how and what it meant to love somebody, he tried to convince himself it would be worth it; that it wasn't a bad idea. He wanted to tell you how he felt, but he needed to build up the courage. He just thought he had more time.

Like always, nightmares usually repeat themselves and his was on repeat for a third time. The night you took your last breathe was the night Dallas Winston's whole world died and with it, he made sure he did too.


	11. Steve: Perfect

**⚠️Content Warning: ED⚠**

  
**⚠️The story itself is not about an ED, however certain behaviours written may trigger a reader who does have one.⚠️**

* * *

 

You could hear the arguing as you walked up the steps.

_They're at it again? I swear I'm gonna crack their skulls together one of these days._

Quietly opening the door, you walk in, immediately folding you arms, glaring at both of them.

"Yeah, well what the hell do you think you're doing walking all by yer lonesome insteada callin'."

Pony just looked down at his feet, cheeks turning a slight pink.

"I mean, c'mon, look at my nose!" Steve points at the blood that looks like it's starting to dry up.

"What about it? It's huge, like always," you interject.

Steve turns to you, looking utterly pissed. Ponyboy just keeps looking down at his feet, but you can see he's chuckling.

Steve shakes his head, walking into the kitchen to try and clean up his face, all the while muttering, "Fucking smartass."

"Better than being a dumbass, right," you call back.

He comes back, holding a paper towel to his nose, "Remind me again, why the hell you're my girlfriend."

You just laugh and plop down on the couch, flipping on the TV.

 ***Later That Day***  

Everybody gathered at the boys place for dinner and dug in, after not having anything to eat the whole day, you were rather hungry.

"Seconds? Really think ya need 'em (Y/n)?" Steve chuckled.

"Excuse me?" You were flabbergasted and horrified by the insinuation.

"I'm just saying, you keep eatin' like that you ain't gonna fit into your pants no more. Hell, you're already complaining how they're too tight."

You took a deep breathe, composing yourself, and excused yourself from the table.

"Now you've done it," Pony muttered.

"Done what?"

"Gone an' upset 'er," Pony told him.

"I did not!" Steve called back.

Soda threw himself into the conversation, "You may be my best friend, but you're an idiot! You don't ever talk about a woman's weight."

Dal slapped his hand on Steve's back and chuckled, "Yeah, man, even I know that much."

While everyone was downstairs, you had went up to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. Lifting your shirt, you took in the sight of your own body. The longer you looked the more you hated what you saw. You pants looked like they were digging in, your stomach looked like it was flowing over your pants and everytime you moved your arms, they'd jiggle.

With everyone hounding him, he got up from his chair and went up to find you, looking in the bedrooms and lastly, the bathroom, where he heard the water running. He didn't see you criticizing yourself in the mirror, what he saw was the ending product. You hovering over the toilet, taking your fingers out of your mouth - emptying out the contents you had in your stomach.

It burned and made you tear up, but it felt good, like you needed to do it again - all the time no matter what or how much you ate.

Steve quickly made his way over to you and scratched the back of his neck, "Soda's right, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, (y/n). I wasn't meanin' to upset you. Thought I was just joking with you."

You sighed, hoisting yourself up to rinse your mouth out, "I know you didn't mean it, but you know my weights a sensitive topic."

"I know..but if we're bein' honest, you started it," he laughed.

"How so?"

"With my nose," he laughed even more, but it didn't last long. "Besides my teeth, my nose is an insecurity of mine and you shoulda known that," he paused, "kinda like I shoulda known your weight was yours."

You looked down at your shoes, you knew he was right in his own way. "I know, we were both wrong," you tell him.

"Listen to me, (y/n), you ain't ever got to do anything like that if you want to look perfect. You just gotta keep bein' yourself."

You smiled, "And you don't have to have fix your nose or have better teeth to be perfect to me."

_Perfect imperfections._


	12. Darry: Haunting

_Holding out your hand, gloves acting as a barrier, you caught a few flakes of snow while watching the rest of them dance through the air. The crisp are of that winter morning burned your nose, but you weren't going to leave - there was far too much fun to have._

_Dodging a rogue snowball, you watched the boys toss them any which way, not caring who they hit in the process, as long as it hit a target._

_The laughter filled the air, making a smile play across your lips, hoping this day could never end - but you had to say goodbye for a while. Having told them you must be off, you disappeared for quite sometime. It had been after dinner before you came back around; nobody else being up but Darry, who had left a plate out for you._

_He took on the exhausted looked on your face, the dark circles, and the ever shrinking frame you had, he knew you'd say no, but he had to try - he always tried._

_"I know it's hard, doll, but ya gotta eat something," even though he knew you wouldn't. You just smiled, and walked over to the couch, laying down, not even bothering to change. You just wanted sleep and some hope for a better tomorrow._

_Waking up, the sight was different, the living room was gone, replaced with a bedroom. Nobody seemed to be home, until a small creaking sound came from the door and Darry walking in with two glasses of cocoa, one for you and one for himself. Snuggling into bed next to you, telling you about how he had called in from both jobs just to spend the day with you, made you feel invincible._

Cold sweats and violent shakes are no new way for Darry to wake up anymore. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he layed his head in his hands and let a few tears out. Soda walked passed his room, noticing, he went to grab Ponyboy.

Quickly filing back in his room, Darry just left his head in his hands. "Why didn't she me she was sick? I could have done something.  Spent more time with her, helped her, anything." It was muffled, but clear enough.

"She didn't want to worry you. That's why she swore to never have us tell you," Soda confessed.

"She said you had too much on your plate with work and takin' care of us. Didn't want to put any more pressure on ya," Ponyboy added.

"But I still could have been there."

"She understood. Big brother, you know she wouldn't want you blamin' yourself like this," Soda comforted.

"I know, I just wish I could have done more, been there more. Maybe if I had..maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way."

After a while, he had told them he'd be okay and that they needed to get some sleep, hoping he'd get some of his own.

He felt his world change the day you left him permanently. It was just like the night his parents died. It felt like the whole world stopped, but he had to move on for the boys, but he still hangs onto the memories and let's them go in the night.

He'd always visit you and his parents, people would see him just sitting down talking to stone, giving him strange looks. It seemed odd to watch a man talk to people like they're actually real, but not realizing him being only twenty, was still a kid himself who still needed a way to figure out how to deal with it all happening so fast.

_Everybody says I'm crazy, (y/n), guess we'll have to see.._


	13. Gang: Lost

The snow crunched beneath your feet as you shivered. You should have grabbed a heavier coat but you were in a hurry. You wanted to find the boys before you left, but it was too cold  and you had to go.

You were so sick of that town, sick of the people, the fights with your parents, getting jumped, everything. Getting out of there was the only option you had, so you took it. You were fixing to catch the train to Windrixville, then after that, you didn't know. Maybe catch a way down to Texas or Louisiana - hell you even considered making your way up to Montana. Anything that just meant starting new.

You really had been planning on telling them, but everything ran so behind and you were about to be late for catching the train, so you left yesterday morning without saying goodbye - your only regret.

**••**

Nobody could find you, the gang was starting to get nervous. Darry checked with the neighbors and his coworkers, Soda and Steve checked the gas stations, Pony went around the school asking teachers and searching classrooms, Two-Bit checked the local bars - occasionally you'd sneak in with Tim to play a couple games of pool or darts.  Johnny checked the vacant lot and the park, and Dal checked the jail house. Nothing.

The last place they figured to check was your parents, but they knew you wouldn't be there. They knocked on the door anyway. Your mom opened it, eyeing each one on the boys with disgust.

"The hell you guys want," she spat.

Two-bit spoke up, "We're looking for (y/n). We hadn't seen her yesterday or today, we're worried."

"And seeing as how she's _your daughter_ , figured you'd know," Dallas added.

Your mom laughed, "Y'all really think we give a damn about where she is or what happens to her out there. She made that choice on her own, she wants to ruin her life cause of you, then let her."

Steve was getting fed up with her, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? _Because of us._ "

"Until she met you filthy greasers, she was polite and respectful. She valued her education, she stayed out of trouble. She tried to keep peace.  She was on her way to actually making something for herself. Now look at her! A worthless drop out! A drunk! She's constantly running from the cops with you," she pointed at Dal. "And she loves getting into fights with the west side now. She threw her life away from what? For your kind. You guys may be okay with that kind of life, but she could have done better and she threw it away to instead become a  _worthless piece of east side greaser trash_!"

The more she talked bad of you, the angrier they became until Steve could no longer hold it in, "YOU KNOW WHAT! TO HELL WITH YA! NO WONDER SHE RAN AWAY!"

"Yea...to hell with you, she's happy being with us," Johnny mumbled.

"Couldn't have been too happy if she high tailed it out of here without telling you guys," you mom smugly replied.

It was Darry's turn to speak, "Just so you're aware, everything you just said about her, proves how little you know her."

"Oh yea?" Your mom smirked, not buying it.

"She _did_ drop out, but she also came back. She may be seventeen and only in her freshman year, but at least she's trying," Pony informed her.

"And she don't drink either, the empty beer bottles you find in your trash are from me when I come over, she gets mad if I leave 'em on the porch," Two explained.

"She don't run from no cops either. The cops are chasin' me. She's just suggests places for me to hide out from them. She avoids any kinda trouble with the fuzz at all costs. She ain't dumb enough to go to jail like me," Dallas wanted her to know that every encounter you had with the police was because of him.

Johnny was the last to explain your behaviour, "She certainly don't like fights either. She avoids them. Hates 'em even, thinks they're dumb and pointless - just like I do. Every time she came home with cuts, bruises, and busted knuckles was cause she got jumped and tried defendin' herself."

"See, you had her all wrong and ya didn't even bother to try and ask why," Soda was trying to control his anger. "Now look where it got everyone. She's gone and we have no idea where the hell she is!"

"I hope your happy," Steve mumbled. "C'mon fellas, we better get a move on finding (y/n). We're only burnin' daylight standing here.

All seven boys turned around and made their way down your driveway, breaking into a dead sprint in a hurry to get to Darry's truck. They were going to find you, one way or another.  No matter how long it would take - they were going to find you and bring you back home where you belonged.


	14. Gang: Never Met

**⚠️Content Warning: Sexual Assault⚠️**

* * *

 

You were just about to round the corner to meet all the guys at the drive-in, when you heard Steve.

"Way to go brat, you just had to go on and invite her."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

Dallas this time spoke, "Give her the slip? Something, anything to get rid of her."

The air filled with silence for a moment before Steve spoke up again. "Let's all just admit that (Y/N) drives us absolutely crazy and that we don't want her around us. It was alright in the beginin' but I can only feel sorry for her for so long. Think it's safe to say we're _all_ at our limit."

There was a quiet murmur of agreement from the gang.

Out of the corner of your eye your saw Two-bit take a swig of beer, "And if we're being honest," he spoke, "None of us really liked her any how. Too loud and obnoxious; can't get her to shut up so you can get a word in"

"Really?" Soda was surprised, "Cause I can't get her to say a word, it's tiring; always feelin' like I'm talking to myself - may as well be."

"Its like an act she puts on to impress us or something, depending on who she's with, " Darry added.

"Yeah, well I can't do it no more, she's a pain in the ass. Only reason we're stuck with her is cause this little shit," he pointed at Ponyboy, "pitied her, then made us all stuck with her."

There was another agreeing murmur from the boys, before they gave up on you meeting them. You watched them walk into the movie while you tiptoed backwards a few steps- trying not to be seen by them, and turned around and headed for the vacant lot.

On your way, keeping your eyes downcast, you heard a familiar rumble of a car engine. You shoved your hands further in your pockets, hoping they wouldn't see you. Alas, fate was never on your side as a blue mustang pulled in front of you, blocking your way. Stopped in your tracks, you inconspicuously take the blade out from your back pocket as five soc boys step out of the car.

"Well, well, look what we have here," he proclaimed. Even from there you could smell the alcohol on their breath; you could see it in their eyes they were drunk. Telling by the look on their faces, you knew something bad was going to go down. The boys began to form a circle around you so you couldn't escape. Five to one, not a fair fight, but you weren't one to back down.

Another joined in, "What's a pretty little thing like you doing being a nasty greaser anyway?"

"More importantly," a third one chimed, "how pretty are you under all those clothes," he held a perverted smile on his face. It was sick and depraved. You instantly knew and your stomach dropped. He nodded to the one behind you and before you knew it, he had your shoulders pinned to the ground with his knees. You kicked and flailed you legs hoping to get out but it was in vain as another one sat down on your legs. You never stopped screaming, praying like hell anybody could hear you.

"Man, someone shut her up!" You saw another boy hand the one that yelled that a rag, feeling it being shoved into your mouth - your screams now silenced. You could feel a cold piece of metal sliding across your throat and down your neck making it's way to your shirt.

"Now," he breathed your ear, "Let's see what you've been hiding underneath these clothes, ya filthy greaser."

After he had cut your shirt the rest was a blur, you knew what happened and all you wanted was to forget, but you can't. You can't forget the twisted smiles, the depraved way they stole innocence. You can't forget the violence; the way they took turns violating your entire being.

The cuts and bruises, which you had plenty everywhere, will heal but the emotional turmoil you'll forever live with will never heal. Your throat had a decent, superficial cut, one of your legs was banged up after they beat you when they were done, your knuckles were busted open and bloody from trying to fight, you had a black eye, your nose was bleeding, and you knew a couple ribs were cracked.

Looking down at your tattered shirt, you zipped up your sweatshirt, thanking god that was in one peace, and looked down at your pants. Noticing a couple big holes, a lot of dirt, and some blood; you didn't care, your sweatshirt was long enough to cover them okay, so if someone saw you they wouldn't know. Reaching in, you grabbed what was left of your cigarettes and found one that wasn't broke and lit it. Inhaling the smoke, you felt tears roll down your face.

The boys laughed as they walked back home from the movie, but it didn't last long when they saw you. Even from there they could see the tears;they never had seen you cry before, they knew something was bad. It didn't take long for them to be there.

"(Y/N), what happ-,"

You cut Soda off, "Don't worry 'bout it. Y'all don't have to sit here and pretend to care."

They all gave you a confused look. "Don't play dumb," you continued, "I heard what you said about me. That none of y'all want me here, so I'll save you the trouble."

You hoisted yourself up on your feet, everything about you hurting, making you almost fall over. You limped a couple feet away from them and turned around, "If I see you guys around town, just know that I ain't gonna say hi or nothing, I expect you to do the same to me. Like we never met, okay."

You didn't give them a chance to answer as you limped your way to God only knows where, tears escaping harder knowing that that night you not only lost your innocence, but you lost a gang you thought were your friends.


	15. Ponyboy: By Myself

Sitting in the vacant lot, staring into the fire Ponyboy had started, you fixate your gaze on the dancing flames - trying to dry your eyes. You didn't want to cry, not in front of anybody anyway. He had never seen you cry - ever, and you wanted to keep it that way.

Sniffling a little, you felt Pony wrap his arms around you, trying his best to comfort you. "He's just dumb and he ain't worth upsetting yourself over," he smiled softly at you.

You wanted to believe him, but he had promised this time, he promised this time he'd come and take you with. He had showed up just shy of your seventeenth birthday. The day he was leaving he told you to go pack your things, he was taking you back to Montana with him for a while. In your gut you knew better, but your heart still had a little faith - you wanted to believe in him for once. When you had your bags packed you ran down stairs only to find a note that said  ** _I'm sorry_**  and his car gone.

Now your stuck in a vacant lot on your seventeen birthday with one of your best friends trying to figure out where you had gone wrong. Pony kept telling you he's the idiot until you couldn't take it anymore.

You sprung up from the beat up couch, him doing the same "You're right! I made it seventeen years _without_ _him_ , I had sixteen other birthdays _without_ _him_ , I grew up _without_ _him_. I became who I am today with _no help_ from him. I have a job, I go to school, I do it all _by myself_. He never cared to see it. He never helped. I'm used to him pulling this crap anyway. So, you're right Pony, I don't need my old man," you finished with a smile.

Your smile wavered and then faded when you looked into his eyes; your bottom lip began to quiver and your eyes filled with tears as you quickly walked back over to him, him pulling you into a hug as you began to cry, not caring about anyone seeing you.

"Why doesn't he want me," you whispered.

Pony rubbed your back and kissed the top of your head. "Cause your old man's a bonehead. He's never seen how smart you are, he ain't gonna see your eyes light up when you laugh at one of Two's jokes, and he'll never see that you can put the scare in anyone - even Dal, or how relaxed and calm Johnny is whenever you're around. He won't know how you confuse Soda and Steve when you know something about cars they don't, or how much Darry enjoys you helping him out around the house, and he certainly won't know just how much I need you here as one of my best friends; and he don't deserve to know. All these things you did without him, and that's the way it should stay."

You pulled away and wiped your tears, giving him a sincere smile.

"You're right, Pony, he don't." You took a long look at the stars, "Man, they sure are pretty."

You didn't notice the way he looked at you - like you were the most import thing in the world. "They sure are," he said, still watching you, "Now, let's get back before we get in trouble."

 


End file.
